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she rememberes the little things first.
her favorite color is purple
she likes blueberry pancakes,
and leaves pennies face-up on random street corners.

even with these pieces, it feels like
a huge chunk has been torn away that she could never retrieve

there are scars on her person
she does not remember getting.
her body is a map of memories
she does not know how to read.

they say she used to be calm and collected,
but now she is hot and fiery,
and they don't know her anymore.
but that's okay, because she doesn't know herself.

she misses the sun,
and the bad school coffee and English projects
and her own bed
and the person she was before.
even though she can't remember, she misses.

when they tell her what happened,
car crash. one dead, one survived.
internal bleeding. damage to the brain.
amnesia. amnesia. amnesia.

and she doesn't remember but she flashes between images
like loose strings that she can't help pulling.
a hand to hold. a quick smile. a skipped school.
a boy. a kiss. a Christmas. the thread that ties it all together
is white hot pain from every side.

the doctors say that she might not ever remember.
that night she mourns a boy she doesn't but did know
and a girl she doesn't see but still is.

she starts smoking. she tells her parents it's to relieve stress.
but really, she just wants to know what's
killing her.

she still sometimes gets new old memories,
but she's okay with that. she's been able to
distinguish between past and present
and were and are for a long time now.
she still doesn't know, though,
which she is.
i think she's happier now, though.
Add a Comment:
yarryanotak Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconhappytearsplz: So many feels this gave me! Don't ever stop writing.
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're wonderful work has been featured in my journal: [link] :heart:
InTheStarryNightSky Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012
A beautiful piece. Amazing job.
Arraveci Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Student Writer
It feels like she's real... So beautiful and well written, I haven't seen poems this good except in books all officially published and to be studied and usually I hate them but it would be a joy to study this.
DkarnDezolus Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
THIS is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read...thank you so much. You have real talent. This was amazing, simply amazing!
alkalineuh Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I like the way this went, and it made me feel a lot of things, and I'm just really glad I got to read this, so thank you for writing/sharing.
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Submitted on
October 19, 2012
File Size
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50 (who?)