Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Artist Core Member Grae MatternFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
8 Month Core Membership:
Given by sdmann22
Statistics 160 Deviations 567 Comments 17,023 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

lol well

Favourites

Activity


one day you will cut all your hair off,
and hang up a map of the world in your
room and  you will look at it on days
you think your life is going nowhere.
i hate to tell you this, but this isn’t
your worst year. it also isn’t your
best.

one day you will cut all your hair off
and realize that some poems need to be read
out loud, to an audience, so you’ll take a hammer
and some nails and build yourself one
out of a girl whose veins look fragile but
whose bones are strong, a boy who isn’t as tall as
he thinks he is, but whose lifelines are the deepest
you’ve ever seen, and a girl whose eyes remind you of the
east coast shore.

one day you will cut all your hair off,
and learn that you can like pink
just as much as you like blue
and the world will not fall apart
along its fault lines. there are other flags
you can wave with pride that
aren’t American.

one day you will cut all your hair off
and figure out how to forgive yourself,
figure out how to stand in front of the mirror
and look your five year old self in the eye.
everything you have ever done in your life
is to try and make her proud,
one day you will realize it is time

to let her die.
one day you will eat fruit and drink tea and
pass a math class, then fail out of a math class,
one day someone else will

write you a poem,
one day you will stop comparing people
to stained glass and start comparing them to concrete
because you’ll start believing in the
durability of the human spirit.

one day you will cut all your hair off.
i know that sounds impossible because
right now all you want is to have perfect
curls like that country singer you won’t admit
to liking, but i swear one day you will
cut all your hair off, and it won’t feel
like finding yourself or creating yourself, but it will be
a step in the right direction.
an open letter to my twelve year old self
i think pretty much everyone has to write one of these.

i used the cutting hair off line so many times because i think the day i cut my (admittedly already pretty short) hair into a "guy" cut was, like, some kind of transition in me. i did it sometime in my sophomore year of high school, but i don't really remember it much. i don't think it means that much but i think it meant something, you know?

anyways, i didn't really want to write this poem, i just didn't want to do my mountains of AP euro reading. i still need to do that. shittt

okay so love you, lovelies xx
Loading...
i think you are lovely.
but i am not in love with you,
and by the fifth time you catch my eye and look
away just as quickly, i realize
that i cannot will myself into being so.

if love were as simple as a field of flowers,
i swear i would pick you a bouquet
of daises, and make sure that every petal you
picked off ended with ‘she loves me’.

if love were as reliable as the sun,
i would never stand so far away from you that our
shadows did not touch.

if love were as predictable as the weather,
i swear i would spend every storm
kissing you in the rain.

if love were as fair as Lady Justice
i would tie a scarf around my eyes
and spend the rest of my life blind
just to be able to feel the way our fingerprints
line up together.

if love were—
but it’s not, and i’m not—
in love with you, that is, and
you deserve a girl whose heartbeat plays
the Hawaii 5-0 theme song whenever
you walk into the room.

i know that isn’t me.

and i don’t know how we can remain the same,
when every time i see your smile,
i think about how i held your heart in my hand
for five years without even noticing
its weight and when you finally
spat out your truths, i dropped it
like it was so hot, like i was afraid it would
burn me—i was afraid i would have scars of your
heartbeat on my hands for the rest
of my life. to be honest, i think
i will anyway.

to be honest, sometimes i am mad at you
because i never wanted to be someone’s first love
or someone’s first heartbreak poem,
or the reason someone found it hard to breathe
or the guilty secret someone tells their friends about
in whispers and only when drunk.

i don’t want to be the thing you think about
only when drunk.

i don’t want to be the catch in your throat, or the heat
in your face, or your sweaty palms,
or your stutter and
or your broken daisy stalks.

i don’t want to be the petals strewn across
your floor, like the carnage of a hope you can’t
manage to shake.

you are lovely. you are so

lovely. sometimes, i wonder
if i have made your heart heavy enough
that the next person you give it to will
notice its presence before you even have
to say a word.
peccavi
peccavi (n)- a confession of guilt or sin

written primarily for me because i thought i had a lot to say, but when i opened my mouth i couldn't think of a single word.

on an unrelated note, does anyone know what i could possibly write my college essays on?

i know school has mostly started for everyone, so keep your heads up, cheries, it'll get easier from here, most likely.

xxgrae
Loading...
last night i pressed a hand up against my ribcage
and imagined how it would feel
to touch the bones there.
once, i could have seen them.
but it’s been years and years since then,

and sure, sometimes there are days i can only drink
tea and lie about how much food i’ve eaten,
but there are other days i even eat
breakfast and i know that doesn’t sound like a big
deal, but trust me, it is.

last night i went through my closet
and took out every shirt i shoved to the back
of my drawers four years ago like a dirty secret,
too small by half, but kept in the hopes that
some day in the future it might hang right
on my shoulders again.

but i’ve grown more than i could have ever known
when i was thirteen and skipping meals
and standing in front of mirrors and falling
short of a satisfactory reflection.

and now, the last thing on my mind is shrinking.
who i am far outweighs who i was
written 39,000 feet in the air, when everything looked so small. a pretty decent poem to start my senior year with. (yes the title is a pun)

(pls tell me if this needs a trigger warning or if you feel triggered, like i definitely understand how harmful stuff like this can be and how easy it is to get triggered and this poem talks about anorexia and recovering so just tell me and i'll slap a warning on it and personally come to your house to hug you, or like, high five you or something)

i've had probably one of the best--if not the best--summer of my life and it's going to be weird starting school again, but i think, if i can just manage to stay the person i was in june and july, i think

i'll be fine.
Loading...
1. people are always poised to leave you.
i don’t know when you’ll realize that,
but after you do, it’s over.
you can’t hit snooze, you can’t forget it.
love lasts longer than
people do.

there’s nothing to stop it either.
there’s no joke you could have
told, no times you could have held your tongue.

it’s probably not your fault.

no one can keep people, no one can make them stay.
it’s in our natures to fidget,
to flinch, to crave freedom, to long for the horizon.
it is us that leaves. our temporariness is
our own humanness.

2. she has cuts on her arms and they are faded.
i wonder how exactly they got there. i wonder why
they got there—the series of events
that led to what always seems like
a fucking forgone conclusion.

i wonder where i was at those eight moments.
i wonder what i was doing,
how i was feeling. i wonder when I got so distant
that a phone call or a voice message or a
goddamn text was too little to bridge the gap.
i wonder when she gave up on me.

3. i wonder when they healed.

4. this is for my temporary existence, here.
it is for the people i have left
and the ones who have left me.
this is for the jokes i told and the tongue
i could not hold back.
this is for the people i am holding back.

this is for the times i never thought
to stop, for the times i never thought to think.
this is for the first brick in a bridge, the one that wonders
how in the world he is supposed to cross this distance.
this is for healing, slow and ugly, scabs and scars
and three in the morning relapses.

this is for you. this is an apology written kind of
like a love letter, kind of like a
dear john note.

5. i’m sorry i missed your play.
i’m sorry i missed your phone call.
i’m sorry i  missed the first time you heard that joke
that never fails to make you laugh. i’m sorry
i read your text but pretended to be asleep
i’m sorry i treated you like a season and only ever loved you
in the summer. i’m sorry i saw your
scars and wrote a poem about them instead
of talking to you. i’m sorry.

6. i swear one of these days i will figure out
how to love you right.
the relationship between compass and home
i'm back~~

so this was originally written as prose in a notebook. i just wrote for, like, five minutes and called it 'abstract thought' instead of 'piece of shit'. idk just wanted to try writing like faulkner, all stream of consciousness or whatever. 

and then when i was typing it up, i changed it loads and it ended up like this.

this is a poem written for a friend, may it always find her in good health, if she ever finds it at all.

i'm glad to be back, guys. missed this.
Loading...
back from camp, guys! it'll take a few days to get back on my feet, but i am here again and okay
you guys give me a Daily Deviation??? I love you all so so much. I mean, seriously, seriously thank you. Every single one of you is amazing and perfect and just wow okay I'm still wow'ing.

And it's more than just a DD, you know, like, I'm super touched and flattered and all these other adjectives on the response "welcome to the real world" got. I loved reading your comments about how you perceive the real world and what you were afraid of when you were graduating college/high school.

Which is another thing. I can't even begin to describe how amazing comments like, 'I just graduated high school and I think I needed to read this' or 'Just finished college, this helped me so much'. Good. Thank god, because that's what I wanted that poem to do to you. I wanted people to read it and feel, well, maybe not helped, but at least not so alone. My oldest sister graduates college in June, and today is my other sister's high school graduation and today was the last exam of my sophomore year of high school, so we're all another step into having no idea what we're going to do later and I know it scares me and it probably scares them, too.

So I'm just really glad that people read this poem and liked it, or even if they read it and hated it, or read it and messaged me all the ways that I'm an ignorant, privileged sixteen year old. This is true. But like I said earlier, I wrote "welcome to the real world" so people could read it and feel like they're aren't the only ones facing these problems. Cause sure, from what I've seen the Real World sucks and it's awful and yeah, there's little bits of 'this is great' but it's mostly twenty-somethings wishing they were preteens again. And it would doubtlessly be better if no one thought they were the only ones going through the same adjustments.

I got off all track--I just really wanted to say that after the week of exams I've had and Ending Of The Year blues, this was amazing. Thank you so much. I'm still smiling.

deviantID

MisfitableGrae's Profile Picture
MisfitableGrae
Grae Mattern
Artist | Literature
United States
I hate talking about myself for any length of time. My favorite part of the summer is the fireflies. My mother doesn't understand why I like the rain so much, but let's just put that on the ever-growing list of things my mother doesn't understand about me. I don't know what to do about that. I do this weird thing where I don't reply to comments and don't tell everyone that follows me that I love them but I love them and on Bad Days, I reread the comments and look at my watchers and I smile and fall a little bit more in love with humanity in general. I'm allergic to every nut but peanuts. I am a horrible human being. But some days I can convince myself that that doesn't necessarily mean I'm not a good person.
-Grae
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconshoenicebitchforlife:
it probably doesnt look like it based on my profile and my crude digital art but i absolutley love poetry and youre one of my poetic idols i just adore your work so much your writing style is exactly what i want mine to be like one day and you just inspire me so much i just thought id tell you aaa
Reply
:iconbrandoch-daha:
Brandoch-Daha Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I am glad I found your page
Reply
:iconlocosquirrel:
locosquirrel Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist

Hi, I just wanted to say that you're own of my favorite poets. Like the kind that should be published and studied in english classes but isn't YET (I think you could be if that's what you wanted).


There are these writing practices I do where I try writing in certain styles and well, I tried my hand at your style. It's your inspiration so I thought I'd share it with you :)



locosquirrel.deviantart.com/ar…

Happy writing and have a lovely day ! 
--- Loco


Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for collecting Bibliophilia :)
Reply
:iconaerondust:
AeronDust Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015
I could start a collection just on all the things you've written because I've loved everyone of the things I've read so far.
Reply
:iconpsychia98:
Psychia98 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my goodness, you added one of my poems to your favourites? I'm utterly flattered..!
Thank you; this means such a lot to me :)
Reply
:iconmypoeticreality:
MyPoeticReality Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015   Writer
I just wanted to tell you that you inspire me in unimaginable ways, your mind is absolutely beautiful. Keep writing, sweetie. :heart:
Reply
:iconmisfitablegrae:
MisfitableGrae Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015   Writer
oh man thank you so, so unbelievably much. you're absolutely amazing.

and also, i love andrea gibson's poetry, "a letter to the playground bully" is one of my all-time favorites from her. C: used to have about five of her poems memorized just in case there ever came an opportunity to recite her work. "class" was pretty cool, too.
Reply
:iconmypoeticreality:
MyPoeticReality Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015   Writer
Oh, of course! And thank you!

Aww, that's really cute! I didn't know of her until about a year ago when a friend of mine took me to see her perform, she's been my idol ever since. c:
Reply
:iconthat1personyouforgot:
That1PersonYouForgot Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer

Hey, thanks for joining :iconshortandsweetpoetry:ShortAndSweetPoetry! We're glad to have you with us. Please be sure to submit any and all short poetry you write and/or come across, into the right folders of course~ Wink/Razz

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me or any of the other admins, DropDeadKrislynAmarantheansSharkitty, and AmethystVixen. We also have a donation account for the group at :iconsspdonationaccount:. Any and every donation is much appreciated! Heart

Have a nice day! Spongebob (Imagination) 

 ~That1PersonYouForgot Meow Rainbow

P.S. Sorry for the late welcome!
Reply
Add a Comment: